I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
