nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
