Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
