Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
