he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
