Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
