even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
