You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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