Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
