i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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