yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
