New low: just hacked my moms facebook
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
