i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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