if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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