Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
