if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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