Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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