Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just want nice things and good sex
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
