no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
