she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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