the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
