I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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