they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
