it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
