SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's blow job season.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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