I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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