Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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