I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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