I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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