dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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