she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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