I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
A+ Viking dick
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
