you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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