I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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