Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
