This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
