so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
