i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
