You're so nebulous sometimes
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
