I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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