It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
