Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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