I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
