I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
