No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
