Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
