oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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