i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
