Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
