I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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