Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
