Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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