Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
