Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
