we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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