I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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